适千里者，三月聚粮

本人做为管理门外汉，前两天才偶然发现这本书。名字叫《有效的经理》，作者美国人蓝斯登，译者尉腾蛟，出版时间是1987年6月，可以说是相当的古老。蓝斯登这个人似乎很有名，百度google都能找到一堆以他命名的原则；但是搜了一会儿，却怎么都找不到他的英文名，只得暂时作罢。

这本书虽然历史有点久远，但是里面的原则却并不随着时间的流逝而有所失色。对我来讲，简直称得上指路明灯，在最近工作中积累的疑问，方法，书里做了一个有条理的梳理。每章的“影响力的自我检讨”部分，就是一本鲜活的行动指南。

下面是它的目录大纲。在以后的博客，我或许会专门贴几章内容上来。

No one is allowed to bully you, threaten you, shout at you, hit you, intimidate you, frighten you, tease you, victimize you, or torment you in any way. You are an employee. If you aren't doing your job properly, you should be taken to one side and have your mistakes pointed out calmly and rationally. Anything else is abuse.

You are allowed to refuse abuse. You are allowed, calmly and rationally, to tell them to stop at once or you are entitled to use the full weight of the law to get them to stop. You have to know when to stand your ground.

Obviously if they are mildly teasing – the same as everyone else gets – then you can't walk out and claim unfair dismissal. If your boss snaps at you occasionally – the same as they do to all employees – you can't demand the European Court of Human Rights has them strung up, even if they are out of order. If a colleague says they'll give you a slap if you pinch their hole puncher again you can't really expect the House of Lords to take up your case. We are talking real abuse here, not the sort of rough and tumble you'd expect in the hurly burly of a busy working life.

Standing your ground is about having standards, drawing a line in the sand and saying, 'I will put up with this, but not this', or 'I will allow them to do this to me, but not this'. Standing your ground is about being assertive. Being assertive is about confidently stating your bottom line:
- 'I won't be spoken to like that’
- 'I am feeling threatened and bullied and shall leave the room'
- 'I don't appreciate being locked in dark cupboards and I shall have to report this incident to my union represen-tative/boss/the police/the Health and Safety committee/my mother'.

If bullied, stick to the stuck record – 'I don't appreciate being treated like this. I don't appreciate being treated like this. I don't appreciate being treated like this'. Don't lose your temper, or they may feel they have 'won'. Walk away.

设置自己的底线。
这一段可以扩展为设置自己的行为准则，什么事情可以做，什么事情不能做，自己心里应该有数

There will be times when you really annoy other people. In fact, being a Rules Player may get right up their noses even if they haven't a clue what it is you are doing. No one likes a smart arse and you might be seen as one if you cut loose from the herd and start looking good and looking cool. They may have a go. They may like to have a pop at you. How do you defuse their anger?

First you have to understand that there is two types of anger:
- justified anger
- tactical anger.

Justified anger is exactly that – justified. You just ran over their foot in your car because you weren't looking. They are quite justifiably pissed. What do you do? You get out of the car and apologize. Say, and mean, that you are sorry. Don't deny it was your fault. Don't tell them it is nothing and they are making a bit of a fuss and you once had your entire leg ripped off and never even noticed. Don't try and explain why you weren't looking where you were going. Don't try to brush off the whole thing – 'I'd have thought you'd have been pleased to have had your foot run over by a top of the range Aston Martin'. And for God's sake don't laugh.

Justifiable anger needs a result. If you have done something wrong listen to them – they are angry. You have made them so. Listen to what you have done wrong. And then apologize and find some way to put things right. Show the person that you sympathize – you may not be able to give them what they want
but you can still let them know that you appreciate their feelings. Don’t brush their feelings aside – they are justified.

Tactical anger is, however, another thing entirely. Tactical anger is used to make you do things you don't want to. People lose their temper to intimidate you. The worst thing you can do is let them get away with it. If you do, they'll keep doing it, to you and to others. You must stop them at once. The way to do this is simply to say, 'I don't like being shouted at/threatened/intimidated/bullied/whatever, and I shall leave if you don't stop/calm down/put your fists down/let go of my throat', whatever.

If they continue then just leave. That's it. Say nothing, just walk out of the room. Do this often enough and they get the message.

It is their behaviour that is wrong or annoying or detrimental to the department. It is never them. And it is never annoying to you, only to the good of the department. The key way to remember this is a dreadful new age thing that crept in from American parenting stuff. They say, 'She isn't a naughty girl; she's a good girl who has done a naughty thing'. Yuk. Or how about, 'He is a good boy who has done a bad thing'?

This sets the scene though. It isn't the person, it is their behaviour. You never ever get personal.
You can criticize:
- the way they do their job
- their time keeping, their attitude
- their motivation
- their communication skills
- their long-term goals
- their focus
- their knowledge of office procedures
- their appreciation of company policy
- their inter-personal skills
- their productivity output.

But you can't  ever say they are a lazy, ignorant, good for nothing, lying, thieving bitching bastard. Oh no. Not ever.

They may need re-training, relocating, re-educating, re-directing, re-motivating but never being told exactly what you really, really think of them. Getting personal will get you sacked at worst and lose you respect and friends at best. The same goes for your boss. You may know they are useless, incompetent, corrupt and stupid. But can you say so? No. Not even to colleagues. Remember what we said about sticking up for junior members of staff or the underdog or anyone that everyone else is having a go at? Well, your boss is the same.

You always stick up for them – no matter what. You do not get personal about them, with them or around them.

对事不对人